How old were you when you realised Santa didn't exist and it was your dad crashing about in the night downstairs arranging the presents? And when you found out he didn't exist, did you feel cheated and mad that you'd been conned, or did you just feel sorry for all those deluded adults who still believed in Santa (or at least, you assume they still did as they would keep trying to assure you he most certainly existed)?

How old before you worked out it wasn't fair that when you told a lie to an adult you got whacked smartly round the head and told it was e-v-i-l, but it's okay for adults to lie to kids?

I ask because it seems to me totally wrong that a teacher should be sacked for telling a class of 7-year old kids Santa doesn't exist. Hellooooooo.... aren't teachers supposed to instill the virtues of truth and honesty in our kids, not tell them untruths? Why limit it to Santa? Hey - let's con our 7-year-olds into believing dragons exist! And fairies! And that the earth is flat!** So what if they're upset when they find out it's not true! So what if they'll know you lied to them! It's okay to lie if it makes people happy, right?

What do you tell them when they ask how come if Santa lives at the Co-op, he also lives at the local garden centre and the shopping centre in the next town - simultaneously? And why don't the reindeer burn up on atmopheric re-entry after travelling at supersonic speeds to get round the world in one night? Do you insult their intelligence by covering up the lie with other lies and let them feel like a total spaz when the precocious brat next door goes and blows the gaff?

I caught my dad out when I was about 5 or 6, and I don't remember being traumatised for life by the discovery. In fact don't ever remember a time when I did believe in a fat old geezer with a big white beard who terrorised bad children anyway - even if I had sat on his lap at the weekend and he'd given me a horrible plastic toy gun I promptly buried in the back garden.

I do remember a couple of years ago my friend's 6-year old daughter confiding to me that Santa wasn't real, but I wasn't to tell her parents because they thought he was and would be upset...

The irony is, Santa Claus is a myth, and myths don't have to be lies - children are perfectly capable of enjoying the fantasy of a good story or fairy tale even when they understand its not true. And yeah, I suspect most savvy modern 7-year-olds know Santa is a Big Fat Lie and are just playing along to indulge our adult fantasies, anyway.


** Disclaimer: If I've just shattered any other Great White Cultural Lies for you, gee, I'm so sorry ;)